I think it's a little bit ironic that I'm entitling this post the way I have. If you've subscribed to my website, the current free download you receive is a 3-step Guide to Giving Up. So, saying "yes" might sound like I'm backtracking. But I'm not. We've all heard people talk about how you have to say "no" to one thing in order to say "yes" to something else, right? So, essentially, I stick by my giving-up ways! But, I'm saying yes in a new way. And I have reasons–three really good reasons in my life–to do so.
1. Saying "yes" brings so many yeses your way!
Have you ever noticed how things seem to snowball when someone does something brave? I mean, it's pretty cool. We all love a good story, right? Take Chip and Joanna Gaines, for example. They are a couple of my favorites to watch. They were just doing their thing, and they said "yes" to a little TV show that turned into a national phenomenon. Have you heard them talk about it? They didn't think anyone would want to watch a show of their adorable banter and lovely designs. But they were brave and said "yes". Now, I don't know what will happen in the future because of my little "yes" that turned into a book, and a forthcoming sequel. I've recently said "yes" to a new business opportunity with MONAT (ask me about that, cuz, it's changed my hair and my LIFE!), and the "yes" opportunities keep coming. I mean, no one is asking to feature me in a national TV show. But it's my yes, and more and more confirmations for the right yeses in my life are flooding in.
2. Saying "yes" offers you a self-confidence needed for success.
So, I'm going to get a little philosophical here. I believe that most of us understand the value of self-worth. However, what I think still pervades society is the absence of self-worth. We talk about it–we say "I'm worth it", "I'm crushing it", and call ourselves a "self-made man or woman". But I would argue that we are a self-indulgent society and not a self-confident one. Here's the thing. If we were all confident, having an appropriate view of our own worth, I believe that implicitly then, we must recognize the worth in every human being. EVERY. HUMAN. BEING. As much as our own worth, others are worthy.
That changes things, doesn't it? My success then is for a greater good, and not just because I'm the awesomest at everything. It's because I saw the worth in myself to first say "yes" to that scary thing I didn't want to put myself out there doing, and then to say "yes" to you, believing that what we share matters. And something greater than ourselves happens!
3. Saying "yes" heals something inside you.
Okay, I am no psychologist. But I've done my fair share of working with people...and just being human. As I think back on that quirky little girl who had a song for everything, "playing" the piano on every surface that would double as my keyboard, I remember what it was like to dream. BEFORE people made comments about me not being good enough. Or telling me what the "right" path was for my life. Don't get me wrong. I think trusted people's advice in life is invaluable! That's not what I'm talking about. You know what I mean, though, don't you?
That thing in the pit of your stomach that you're thinking about right now. That book you've always wanted to write.The song you never recorded.The outreach you never started.The career you never pursued. Have you thought about saying "yes" recently? What would you lose? Because there would be something. You know, that whole saying-yes-means-saying-no-to-something-else thing...I mean, I get it. It's scary. I DO know, you guys.
I quit my full-time job 9 months ago to become a writer who has only invested in a new career with no paycheck coming in from it. But I couldn't live with telling myself "no" any longer. That I couldn't or shouldn't do it because people think my day job was what I was supposed to be doing. So, what's the yes that you've been saying no to? I still have some.
Don't think that I am living every dream I've ever had. But I want to move in that direction. So, I'll share something of mine. I have written and illustrated a story and have about three half-written songs that go along with it. Because in my mind, it's a full-blown Disney musical animated feature film. I know, I know. Dreamer. (insert eye roll, like MY eyes rolling, guys, not yours–because I haven't fully told myself yes).
But does it ever have a chance to become the lovely story I see in my head? Not if I continue to say no to pursuing it. Is it the thing that I want to say yes to right now? Probably not. But I'm taking baby steps toward the yeses that bring me sheer joy.
What's your next yes?